Finance and Business

Ramaphosa Extends The Days Of The Month To 39 To Give Minister Of Finance Enough Time To Prepare His Budget Speech After Failing To Deliver It On Time Pretoria – President Cyril Ramaphosa has put the month of March on hold, extending the month of February to 39 days. This comes after Finance Minister Enoch Godongwana failed to deliver the national budget speech on time, claiming that his dog ate it. The announcement, which sent shockwaves through both the economic and astrological communities, was made during a hastily arranged press briefing at the Union Buildings. “As a government committed to transparency, accountability, and creative problem-solving, we have decided that the best way forward is to simply add more days to the month of February,” Ramaphosa declared. “This will give the minister ample time to rewrite the speech and ensure that South Africans continue to have faith in our well-oiled governance machine.” Godongwana, who was supposed to present the budget speech on the 19th of February 2025, appeared visibly flustered as he recounted his tragic ordeal. “I had everything ready,” he said. “I even highlighted the parts where I was going to emphasize ‘tough economic times’ and ‘belt-tightening’ – which is ironic because my dog, named ‘State Capture,’ ate the whole thing before I could print a backup copy.” Sources close to the minister claim that, in an effort to salvage the situation, he attempted to reconstruct the speech using old copies of Tito Mboweni’s past budgets, a few WhatsApp voice notes, and a napkin from Nando’s. Unfortunately, the napkin only contained a doodle of a chicken wearing sunglasses and the words “Tax the rich?” scribbled in the corner. The move to extend February has left experts baffled, with many questioning its long-term implications. Astrologers are struggling to figure out what happens to people born between February 29 and March 1, while accountants have already sent mass emails to clients warning of “unforeseen delays” in tax season. Economist Thabo Mvulane from the University of Johannesburg weighed in: “We now have 39 days in February, which means payday is further away than ever before. At this rate, South Africans will be forced to budget even tighter – ironically, without a budget speech to guide them.” The opposition was quick to react, with DA leader John Steenhuisen calling it “a blatant attempt to buy time,” while the EFF’s Julius Malema threatened to extend the month even further if land redistribution isn’t addressed first. “If Ramaphosa can just add days whenever he feels like it, then we demand a whole extra year to fix the economy properly,” Malema stated. ActionSA, in the meantime, demanded that if the government could extend February, they should also add more weekends to the calendar to boost morale. Ordinary South Africans took to social media to express their views on the situation.

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