Do men only marry for having sec with wife

Do men only marry for having sec with wife 

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My husband and I met through a blind date arranged by relatives.

Shortly after meeting, he seemed eager to have sex with me, which I immediately refused.

We already knew each other and had some connection, but I am conservative and insisted that we could only take that step after marriage; I would not compromise before then.

He did not force me, outwardly agreeing, and we put the matter aside for the time being.

For our first official date, he chose a quiet restaurant.

The meal was relatively relaxed; we mostly talked about work and small things from when we first met, so it was not awkward.

After dinner, he suggested a walk in a nearby park, which I agreed to without much thought.

Unexpectedly, when we reached a dimly lit part of the park, he suddenly stopped, grabbed my hand, and said urgently that he wanted to take me to a nearby hotel to rest.

My mind went blank.

I immediately pulled my hand away and told him clearly:

No, I absolutely will not accept this before marriage.

His smile froze, and he asked if I did not  trust him.

I said it was not about trust, it was my bottom line—it had to be after marriage.

He did not insist, but on the way home he was noticeably quieter, and the atmosphere became heavy.

Later, he asked me out several more times.

During this time, he behaved very well and did not make any unreasonable demands.

When we went to the movies together, he would proactively buy snacks and drinks; after the movie, he would always walk me to my apartment and watch me go inside before leaving; if I worked late, he would offer to pick me up, saying it was not safe for a girl to walk home alone at night.

These details gradually made me lower my guard, and I thought he had truly accepted my principles and genuinely wanted to get along with me.

After about three months of dating, he proposed, saying that both our parents had met and approved, so why not get engaged first and then slowly prepare for the wedding?

I felt that he had genuinely respected and been very considerate during this time, so I agreed.

After the engagement, we looked at wedding homes and chose furniture together.

He would always ask for my opinion, saying that we would be living together from now on, and it should be according to my preferences.

At that time, I truly believed I had chosen the right person.

Although he was a bit impatient at first, he later learned to respect me.

The wedding was set for six months from now.

The preparations were incredibly busy – taking wedding photos, booking the banquet, sending out invitations – a mountain of things to do.

On the day I tried on my wedding dress, I walked out in it, and he looked at me in the mirror, smiled, and said I looked beautiful.

He even took a picture and sent it to both sets of parents.

At that moment, my heart warmed.

I felt all my previous efforts had been worthwhile, and I thought we could finally settle down after marriage.

The day before the wedding, he came to our house to help us pack and stayed for dinner.

While my parents were cleaning up in the kitchen, it was just the two of us in the living room.

He suddenly came over and hugged me, saying he was very excited about the wedding the next day and asked if I could change my principles now.

I hesitated for a moment, then pushed him away, saying we had already waited this long, just one more day, why could I he not hold back a little longer?

His smile faded, and he said he was just asking casually, telling me not to overthink it.

I did not take it to heart at the time, assuming he was just nervous and excited before the wedding.

The wedding day went smooth.

We were busy until late at night, seeing off all the guests.

I was so tired that I sat on the edge of the bed, not wanting to move.

He came out of the shower, sat down next to me, and brought up the matter again, saying that now that we were husband and wife, it was alright, or was it not?

I looked at him and suddenly felt a sense of estrangement.

He had clearly promised to wait until after marriage, but it seemed he had never truly let go; he had simply endured until our wedding day.

I did not say anything, just nodded in agreement, but a deep unease lingered in my heart.

I vaguely felt that a large part of his reason for marrying me was this very issue.

Life after marriage was relatively peaceful.

He went to work on time, helped with housework, and occasionally took me out to eat and see movies.

However, a thorn remained in my heart.

I would occasionally recall how eagerly he rushed me to the hotel during our blind date, and the impatient tone in his voice the night before our wedding.

I know intimacy between couples is normal, but I could not help but wonder:

Was his promise or marriage to me based on principle truly a respect for me, or was it just a way to get the wedding done smooth?

Later, I talked about this with my best friend, who advised me not to overthink it, saying that men are naturally impatient, and that as long as he treats me well after marriage, that is enough.

I try to convince myself not to dwell on the past, but every time I see his eyes, I remember the disappointment and impatience on his face when I first rejected him.

Now, almost a year into our marriage, life is stable and uneventful, but the knot in my heart remains untied.

I just can not understand:

From the moment we met, he only thought about intimacy.

After being rejected, he agreed to wait until marriage.

Was it because he liked me as a person, or did he just want to find someone willing to marry and cooperate with him?

Does he believe that feelings can not develop slowly, that we can not get to know each other and spend time together first, and that from the very beginning, his only goal is this shallow on just wanting to have sec with me?