WHY MARRIAGES DON'T LAST

WHY MARRIAGES DON'T LAST

Marriage has long been seen as a lifelong commitment, yet modern couples face challenges that make lasting unions increasingly rare. Scholars and psychologists point to shifting expectations, economic pressures, and poor communication as central reasons for marital breakdown.

Timothy Keller, in The Meaning of Marriage, argues that many couples enter marriage expecting constant happiness and self-fulfillment. When reality demands sacrifice, disappointment often follows. Esther Perel, in Mating in Captivity, highlights the tension between stability and passion, showing how couples struggle to balance security with desire.

Historian Stephanie Coontz, in Marriage, A History, explains that marriage has shifted from a social and economic necessity to a romantic ideal. While this change allows for freedom, it also makes marriages more fragile when love fades. Sociologist Andrew Cherlin, in The Marriage-Go-Round, adds that financial instability and social pressures further strain relationships, especially in societies where dual incomes are essential.

Perhaps most crucially, John Gottman’s research in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work reveals that poor communication patterns—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—predict divorce more than any other factor.

Together, these perspectives show that marriages don’t fail simply because love disappears. They collapse because modern couples face higher expectations, greater pressures, and often lack the resilience and skills needed to sustain long-term commitment.